Rumour Mill of Pain: Sex & Nudity stats for Conan?

The little birdy who told me about Morgan Freeman’s possible involvement with Conan the Barbarian has unveiled some more information on the film: specifically, the amount and nature of nudity and sexual content. Naturally, this has been a cause for concern among some fans, who feared that the sexy, naturalistic Hyborian Age would be toned down to attain a PG-13 rating.

Well, here’s the report:

  • Rose McGowan fans may be disappointed to learn that Marique does not get naked or topless in the film.
  • However, they may be consoled to learn that there are about 12 topless slave girls, appearing in various scenes.
  • There is a sex scene between Jason Momoa’s Conan and Rachel Nichols’ Tamara, as suggested in the recent trailer.
  • Conan & Tamara’s scene is noted not not be as graphic as in “Game of Thrones,” not “doggie style,” and with no male nudity.
  • Both Jason and Rachel get naked for their scene, with Jason’s buttocks and Rachel’s breasts bared to the world. As God intended.

From what our little birdy describes, the sexuality could be more artistic and sensual than frank and animalistic: erotic as opposed to pornographic. This suits Robert E. Howard’s work, which manages to be full of sex despite him not actually depicting a single sex scene in any of the Conan stories.

The only area where the film isn’t as racy as Howard is in the nudity. Though twenty-six naked breasts in and Momo’s proud, firm buttocks in 3D sounds like some sort of landmark watershed moment, it’s still barely a percentage of the acres of naked flesh one can visualise in the Conan stories. Still, given the current climate, it’s probably inevitable that Howard’s frequent references and depictions of naked warriors, nobles, savages and slaves, male and female, won’t get past the iron portal of the MPAA.  Perhaps we’re expecting too much of the film industry, hoping them to be more open minded about nudity than a white Texan author living in the 1930s…